I have lots to say and not quite sure where to start…
As you probably already know… I have ADHD. My ADHD diagnosis was a huge blessing! I was FINALLY able to understand why I couldn’t start and finish projects, why I couldn’t focus and most importantly: why I felt so different than my peers. There was one thing that I didn’t experience when I got my diagnosis that i know most people go through: grief, denial and anger. I cant fully explain why I didn’t go through those feelings… I saw my ADHD diagnosis as an explanation and I soaked up everything I could possibly learn about it so that I could understand myself and my unique brain wiring. I was able to build a successful coaching business helping others who have ADHD.
Fast forward 4 years and I’m on my second burnout in the past year.
I’m hella frustrated because I absolutely love helping people with ADHD to understand their brain wiring, reach their full potential and begin to love and accept themselves. How can I love what I do but have no access to the fire and passion I once had?
After struggling for a little over a year, the clouds parted, the sun began to shine and I was introduced to human design (I wasn’t just introduced… it showed up in several different ways over the course of a week and I HAD TO see what it was all about).
While my results spoke to every part of my being… I was really sad. I have to wait for an invitation?! I have less energy than most people?! While both of those statements make a whole ton of sense… I entered the grief, denial and anger space that I didn’t experience when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I have SO MANY IDEAS and I wish I was a workhorse so that I could bring all my ideas to fruition..yesterday! I want to be basking in the success of my ideas. Not waiting for the invitation to then have my success arrive. I want to be creating the success for myself! And maybe this can all happen to me when I step into alignment with my human design. I bet that’s the truth. But right now it feels pretty crappy because I have ALL THE TOOLS to help out my ADHD brain as a generator. The hard reality is I just don’t have as much energy as a generator…(hence all my burnouts).
There is one more piece that I want to share. I have been looking for a way to understand energy. Like why do I feel EXHAUSTED after being around groups of people or even just after some client calls. I am quite gifted at understanding how people are feeling without them needing to tell me. This is a super cool gift but it tends to leave me exhausted. It seems like I carry other peoples feelings. I’ve tried a bunch of different tools like forming a shield or dome around myself. I’ve tried imagining my clients feelings are balloons and letting them fly away. I’ve tried journaling them out of me. So far I haven’t discovered a tool that helps. I’m left with the lingering question: what is actually happening and how can I help myself?
—>I have a hunch that human design can help me with this! Stay tuned while I share my journey!
Are you into human design? What is your strategy? I would love to know!